Tumbling Toward an Ocean of Ecstasy in Bali

There’s something deeply intoxicating about making love in the ocean. The healing and transformative power of water combined with the hormones released during love-making has the power to enhance your arousal levels and stimulate more intense, longer lasting orgasms.

I can’t say that I have ever had such an intense, sexual experience involving the sea, particularly when I imagine having to flick sand out from my nether regions, but what I do know for sure is that when I eat while looking at the ocean, or on the beach after a swim, it always tastes better.

My girlfriend and I decided that we would spend a few days exploring the beachside bars and restaurants that had been touted as must-sees during our trip to Bali. The first place on our list was the much lauded Kudeta – a swanky beach side ‘after-hours’ spot known for its sunsets and fabulous cocktails.

Kudeta is set right on the beach in Seminyak and is a place for the ‘beautiful’ people. Lay back on a king size day bed and watch the sunset while you sip on your berry Bellini shaken by Kudeta’s in-house mixologist. We found the vibe so intoxicating, were it not for being schmoozed by a sleazy US expat whose nephew was on Neighbours, we would have stayed.

For dinner we head to La Lucciola, just up the road. ‘Lucciola’ means fire fly in Italian and when you arrive you immediately understand why. The restaurant is an open-air pavilion and fronts directly onto the beach. It is a magical experience to walk across the foot-bridge over a stream into the restaurant and have your pathway lit up by blazing tiki torches and tree lights. Sarong-clad waiters eagerly await to attend to your every whim and provide you with a small torch to make your meal selection and preserve the very romantic mood lighting.

To finish the evening, my movie pal took us to his British friend Charlie’s new after-hours tapas and cocktail bar The Sea-Circus. Charlie got the place started with the help of an illustrious cast including a few designers from Paris and Australia (Joost Bakker who designed our very own Greenhouse Cafe) and a chef who used to work at the famous Sydney restaurant Longrain. His tapas style menu was scrumptious – yellowfin tuna & watermelon tartare with witlof & citrus; mahi-mahi & tofu fritters with chilli jam & spring onions; and tart citron with clotted cream & limoncello.

The look of the restaurant is fanciful -beachside casual meets circus chic. We enjoyed a cocktail in the circus-themed dining room which is played out in the aesthetic, vibrant yellows for the chairs and sky blue for the tables, under a lofty tent-like structure draped with string bulb lights. I would definitely recommend this place for a special, group get-together or just a round of drinks.

When all is said and done, no matter whether you are by yourself, with your lover or just a bunch of good friends, enjoying good food and wine by the ocean has a healing effect on my psyche that transcends my need for sexual satiation- it nourishes my soul.

A few nights ago I went with a group of friends to have a picnic at City Beach. Carlos, an Engineer from Guatemala prepared this fish stew from shark he had caught earlier on in the day.. it was delicious and went down beautifully with a glass of chilled Flying Fish Chardonnay from our very own Swan Valley... hope you like it...

GUATEMALAN FISH STEW

500 grams fresh, deboned fish

2 cloves garlic finely chopped

one small onion finely chopped

2 small carrots and 1 zucchini finely chopped

small tin of corn (or fresh)

1 tin of peeled tomatoes

Coriander

Virgin Olive Oil

salt

pepper

1 lemon

*any other veggies left in fridge

Carlos served it to us with steamed rice.. amazing!

Get Shucked at Palais 85

Picture this. Sweeping views of the Perth city skyline at sunset over the Swan River, crystal chandaliers, richly coloured satin drapes, beautifully upholstered high back dining chairs, elegant set tables. Palais 85 is a restaurant that oozes style and sophistication and sets the mood for what could be one of the most amorous nights of your life. I was brought here by a broad-shouldered rugby hunk turned finance guy for a special night out. Our eyes lit up as we entered this palatial looking restaurant and hoped that it would live up to its name, princely prices and put us in the mood for love.

My muscular date was as smooth as the bottle of Veuve Cliquot he ordered. Chilled decadence with just the right amount of pop and froth. The coolness of this golden nectar was a tingling accompaniment to the dozen freshly shucked oysters served to us on glass platter atop shaved iced ready for the sucking. I found it deliciously sensual to be fed natural oysters from the shell whilst being squirted with lemon juice.

Oysters have always been linked with love. When Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, sprang forth from the sea on an oyster shell and promptly gave birth to Eros, the word "aphrodisiac" was born. The dashing lover Casanova also used to start a meal eating 12 dozen oysters. The jury is out or whether or not oysters may or may not cause people to fall in love with each other but they have been touted as being rich in rare amino acids that trigger increased levels of sex hormones. They have long been a favorite of food lovers throughout the centuries, beginning with the Roman emperors who paid for them by their weight in gold. I am not convinced about the arousal impact of the humble oyster but I have long had this belief that men who enjoy devouring fish, shellfish or sushi are more adventurous in the bedroom.

We also tried the braised pork belly with wild berry coulis, savoy cabbage and pear chutney. Crispy and smoky the pork belly contrasted well against the sweetness of the berry coulis and pear chutney. For our mains we ordered the crispy skinned barramundi with blue ridge marron, eggplant caponata, potato cake and lime foam and the beef angus tenderloin with sautéed marinated prawns, broccolini, carrot, potato mash and chilli garlic jus. The barramundi skin was tough and chewy and had an insipid flavour. The cremated beef tenderloin was not much better with its broccolini sidekick still raw and tasting of soil.

Service at Palais 85 was akin to the quality of the overall meal, consistently mediocre with fleeting moments of greatness. It is at times like this when you realize how much the company and conversation makes up for what could have been an underwhelming dining experience. The world that night at Palais 85 faded into the background as I was otherwise mesmerized by other more compelling and passionate distractions.

I would not recommend Palais 85 as a restaurant to go for the ultimate dining experience, but sitting on the outside patio with a glass of sparkling champagne in my hand, a smattering of oysters and the splendid views of the water make it a great place for a pre-dinner drink and romantic conversation. You could even take a picnic rug in the car and go and sit down on the foreshore afterwards to watch the sunset and put my theory to the test.

Passion Rating:★★★★★
Food: ★★★☆☆
Service: ★★☆☆☆
Ambiance: ★★★★ ☆
Overall: ★★★☆☆

Swing into Action at Andaluz

Believe it or not, swinging sexual activity is not considered a criminal act. In fact in places like Montreal the swingers' scene is hopping and no longer is there the worry that the cops are going to bust in and arrest everyone just as dudes are about to blow their love load into some kinky échangiste (French word for female swinger). Call me a prude but just because on-site boinking in clubs is legal in Canada doesn’t make me want to try it any time soon.

Walking into the Howard St laneway tapas bar Andaluz, I felt like I was entering a swingers’ love den. The bar has a sultry, clandestine feel. The baroque-style alcoves are lit up by gothic candelabra and fitted out with comfy chocolate chesterfields and crimson red chaise lounges for you to sprawl on. I couldn’t help feeling as if I was a voyeur in an erotic movie as I walked by couples and groups hidden away in their respective nooks sipping champagne, nibbling on tapas and getting it on. I imagined this to be the perfect place for midday lovers wanting to find a quiet snogging spot over lunch.

I visited Andaluz with my two Herculean body-builder buddies over in Perth for the first time from Toronto. I had heard rave reviews about the tapas menu and wine list and that on a Friday night after work the place went off. Andaluz was packed and pumping. We managed to grab a red velvet chaise across from a group of ladies on a Hen’s night swapping sex stories and knew it was going to be a fun night.

Service was friendly and smooth, the tapas menu impressive and the cava chilled with the right amount of bubbles. We ordered the crispy skin barramundi with fennel, cabbage and cucumber salad with a pomegranate and anise aioli. We also tried the vine tomato salad with dried olives and goats cheese curd, the seared black angus skirt steak with lime and chimichurri, the chicken and duck liver parfait and the winning dish of the day – manchego and artichoke croquettes with parsley and caper salsa verde. Food at Andaluz is spectacular. It was the kind of taste bud tease that you never want to end. Despite its hefty price tag, having a food experience that blows you away is worth every cracker you spend.

The guys and I were in the mood for a bit of sweetness to nail a home run. We ordered a slice each of the salted chocolate caramels with smoked chilli salt at $3 a pop. The sweetness of the toffee contrasted perfectly with the bitterness of the dark chocolate and the heat of the chilli salt. Unbelievable!

Andaluz is a sexy place that oozes chic and tantalises the tastebuds. When you are lying back in your private hide-away, the busyness of the place adds to the vibe and enhances the feeling of being in a very, secret place. If you are looking for a delicious date place that provides a risqué setting with just the right amount of intrusion then Andaluz is it – during the day time may be even naughtier.

Passion Rating ★★★★★
Food: ★★★★★
Service: ★★★★☆
Ambiance: ★★★★ ☆
Overall: ★★★★☆

Indulge in the Divine at Ubud’s Café Lotus

"I took the road less travelled and that has made all the difference" - Robert Frost

To love and be loved is the primordial need that binds us as human beings. I believe it is for all of us our life-guiding purpose irrespective of name, rank or serial number. The success of books like Elizabeth Gilbert’s – “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything” taps into our greatest fear as a society – the fear of not being loved. It also explains at least in part why so many are plagued by intense sadness and loneliness. Gilbert’s story sees the protagonist rediscover her own self-love after a bad divorce by spending a year in Italy, India and Bali. Eat represents her four months in Italy, filling her void with food and pleasure while learning Italian. Pray is the four months spent at an Ashram in India in meditation and worship. Love is her four months finding peace and love in Bali.

Inspired by the novel, my
girlfriend and I set off to Bali on our very own “Eat, Pray, Love” Tour determined to experience the best food that Bali had to offer, cleanse our souls at the most luxurious spas on the island and potentially find love in the European expat community for which Bali has a legendary reputation.


Ready to launch our adventure on the right foot, we hired a driver for the day to take us to visit Ketut Liyer, the medicine man made famous in the novel. We managed to track down his address from a movie director friend of mine living the high-life in Bali with his Japanese fashionista girlfriend who gave us the scoop on the absolute must-sees, must-dos and must-eats in Bali.

It took about one hour to get from the luxurious Ayana Resort (www.ayanaresort.com), built into the cliff face of Jimbaran Bay to the home of Ketut Liyer just north of Ubud. He looked like Yoda, just as the book had described - an ancient, warm and toothless man with a massive smile and pure, healing energy. For $50 Australian he will read your palm and tell you about how to improve your sex life. For my girlfriend the news wasn’t so uplifting – “don’t be lazy in bed” Ketut told her. “Give your husband more sex or he will run off with another woman.” His advice to me, all the while giggling, was actually pretty revealing – “You need to find man who can make sex all night. Man must work hard and make you happy.” Ketut’s pearls of wisdom were definitely food for thought and his ramblings made us hungry.

For lunch we drove down the mountain road into Ubud to Café Lotus (www.lotus-restaurants.com). Café Lotus has long been a landmark in Ubud. The setting is magnificent. As you enter your eyes are bewitched by a large lotus pond framed by ancient flowering trees with one of Ubud's famous temples the Pura Taman Kemuda Saraswati, serving as a backdrop.

We ordered a selection of traditional Balinese dishes which included ayam bumbu Bali (half spring chicken cooked with fragrant herbs and spices); crispy duck (half a duckling served with sweet potato purée and tamarind sauce); bebek betutu (duck wrapped in banana leaf, with herbs and spices, cooked underground) with Balinese vegetables and fish fillets marinated in a paste of spices, cooked on the grill, called be-pasih goa lawah with a beansprout salad. Every bite was heaven-sent. My girlfriend and I stretched out on the bamboo mats and closed our eyes in between bites to relish what can only be described as a visceral and giddy palate overload.


Service at Café Lotus was prompt and friendly and food is copious and reasonably priced. You have a choice of sitting at a regular table or doing what we did and dining the Asian way, seated on bamboo mats, overlooking the spectacular lotus flowers in bloom.

As popular as the rose is in the West, so is the lotus in the East. Considered to be perfection in form, the lotus has been associated with many creation myths. With its radiating petals, the lotus connotes the "divine vulva" that gave birth to the gods and goddesses of ancient religions. These deities are often depicted in the company of this pristine flower. It became a sacred symbol for all that is beautiful on earth, and a reflection of divinity, purity and eternity.

What Ketut Liyer lacked in magical powers, Café Lotus made up for in sheer, divine gastronomic pleasure and lived up to its mythical promise. We were charged and inspired to take the road less travelled in this journey we call life.

Passion Rating ★★★★★
Food:★★★★★
Service:★★★★★
Ambiance:★★★★★
Overall:★★★★★