Swing into Action at Andaluz

Believe it or not, swinging sexual activity is not considered a criminal act. In fact in places like Montreal the swingers' scene is hopping and no longer is there the worry that the cops are going to bust in and arrest everyone just as dudes are about to blow their love load into some kinky échangiste (French word for female swinger). Call me a prude but just because on-site boinking in clubs is legal in Canada doesn’t make me want to try it any time soon.

Walking into the Howard St laneway tapas bar Andaluz, I felt like I was entering a swingers’ love den. The bar has a sultry, clandestine feel. The baroque-style alcoves are lit up by gothic candelabra and fitted out with comfy chocolate chesterfields and crimson red chaise lounges for you to sprawl on. I couldn’t help feeling as if I was a voyeur in an erotic movie as I walked by couples and groups hidden away in their respective nooks sipping champagne, nibbling on tapas and getting it on. I imagined this to be the perfect place for midday lovers wanting to find a quiet snogging spot over lunch.

I visited Andaluz with my two Herculean body-builder buddies over in Perth for the first time from Toronto. I had heard rave reviews about the tapas menu and wine list and that on a Friday night after work the place went off. Andaluz was packed and pumping. We managed to grab a red velvet chaise across from a group of ladies on a Hen’s night swapping sex stories and knew it was going to be a fun night.

Service was friendly and smooth, the tapas menu impressive and the cava chilled with the right amount of bubbles. We ordered the crispy skin barramundi with fennel, cabbage and cucumber salad with a pomegranate and anise aioli. We also tried the vine tomato salad with dried olives and goats cheese curd, the seared black angus skirt steak with lime and chimichurri, the chicken and duck liver parfait and the winning dish of the day – manchego and artichoke croquettes with parsley and caper salsa verde. Food at Andaluz is spectacular. It was the kind of taste bud tease that you never want to end. Despite its hefty price tag, having a food experience that blows you away is worth every cracker you spend.

The guys and I were in the mood for a bit of sweetness to nail a home run. We ordered a slice each of the salted chocolate caramels with smoked chilli salt at $3 a pop. The sweetness of the toffee contrasted perfectly with the bitterness of the dark chocolate and the heat of the chilli salt. Unbelievable!

Andaluz is a sexy place that oozes chic and tantalises the tastebuds. When you are lying back in your private hide-away, the busyness of the place adds to the vibe and enhances the feeling of being in a very, secret place. If you are looking for a delicious date place that provides a risqué setting with just the right amount of intrusion then Andaluz is it – during the day time may be even naughtier.

Passion Rating ★★★★★
Food: ★★★★★
Service: ★★★★☆
Ambiance: ★★★★ ☆
Overall: ★★★★☆

Indulge in the Divine at Ubud’s Café Lotus

"I took the road less travelled and that has made all the difference" - Robert Frost

To love and be loved is the primordial need that binds us as human beings. I believe it is for all of us our life-guiding purpose irrespective of name, rank or serial number. The success of books like Elizabeth Gilbert’s – “Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything” taps into our greatest fear as a society – the fear of not being loved. It also explains at least in part why so many are plagued by intense sadness and loneliness. Gilbert’s story sees the protagonist rediscover her own self-love after a bad divorce by spending a year in Italy, India and Bali. Eat represents her four months in Italy, filling her void with food and pleasure while learning Italian. Pray is the four months spent at an Ashram in India in meditation and worship. Love is her four months finding peace and love in Bali.

Inspired by the novel, my
girlfriend and I set off to Bali on our very own “Eat, Pray, Love” Tour determined to experience the best food that Bali had to offer, cleanse our souls at the most luxurious spas on the island and potentially find love in the European expat community for which Bali has a legendary reputation.


Ready to launch our adventure on the right foot, we hired a driver for the day to take us to visit Ketut Liyer, the medicine man made famous in the novel. We managed to track down his address from a movie director friend of mine living the high-life in Bali with his Japanese fashionista girlfriend who gave us the scoop on the absolute must-sees, must-dos and must-eats in Bali.

It took about one hour to get from the luxurious Ayana Resort (www.ayanaresort.com), built into the cliff face of Jimbaran Bay to the home of Ketut Liyer just north of Ubud. He looked like Yoda, just as the book had described - an ancient, warm and toothless man with a massive smile and pure, healing energy. For $50 Australian he will read your palm and tell you about how to improve your sex life. For my girlfriend the news wasn’t so uplifting – “don’t be lazy in bed” Ketut told her. “Give your husband more sex or he will run off with another woman.” His advice to me, all the while giggling, was actually pretty revealing – “You need to find man who can make sex all night. Man must work hard and make you happy.” Ketut’s pearls of wisdom were definitely food for thought and his ramblings made us hungry.

For lunch we drove down the mountain road into Ubud to Café Lotus (www.lotus-restaurants.com). Café Lotus has long been a landmark in Ubud. The setting is magnificent. As you enter your eyes are bewitched by a large lotus pond framed by ancient flowering trees with one of Ubud's famous temples the Pura Taman Kemuda Saraswati, serving as a backdrop.

We ordered a selection of traditional Balinese dishes which included ayam bumbu Bali (half spring chicken cooked with fragrant herbs and spices); crispy duck (half a duckling served with sweet potato purée and tamarind sauce); bebek betutu (duck wrapped in banana leaf, with herbs and spices, cooked underground) with Balinese vegetables and fish fillets marinated in a paste of spices, cooked on the grill, called be-pasih goa lawah with a beansprout salad. Every bite was heaven-sent. My girlfriend and I stretched out on the bamboo mats and closed our eyes in between bites to relish what can only be described as a visceral and giddy palate overload.


Service at Café Lotus was prompt and friendly and food is copious and reasonably priced. You have a choice of sitting at a regular table or doing what we did and dining the Asian way, seated on bamboo mats, overlooking the spectacular lotus flowers in bloom.

As popular as the rose is in the West, so is the lotus in the East. Considered to be perfection in form, the lotus has been associated with many creation myths. With its radiating petals, the lotus connotes the "divine vulva" that gave birth to the gods and goddesses of ancient religions. These deities are often depicted in the company of this pristine flower. It became a sacred symbol for all that is beautiful on earth, and a reflection of divinity, purity and eternity.

What Ketut Liyer lacked in magical powers, Café Lotus made up for in sheer, divine gastronomic pleasure and lived up to its mythical promise. We were charged and inspired to take the road less travelled in this journey we call life.

Passion Rating ★★★★★
Food:★★★★★
Service:★★★★★
Ambiance:★★★★★
Overall:★★★★★

Get Naked at The Wild Fig

Have you ever noticed that after pulling an all-nighter of languorous love making, you wake up feeling ravenous? Nothing gets me out of bed faster than a great, steaming bowl of organic caffé latte and a hearty breakfast. Breakfast just happens to also be my favourite meal of the day and since returning to Perth after years of Canadian blizzard winters I have been promising myself to find the perfect beachside breakfast spot to kick start my morning mojo.

Winning the 2009 Restaurant & Catering Western Australia Awards for Excellence for Best Breakfast Restaurant, The Wild Fig (www.wildfig.com.au) on West Coast Drive in Marmion is where we decided to go sample their much raved about raunchy breakfast fare. I had heard about the café from a good friend of mine, an Amazonian kite-surfer chick whose regular Sunday morning ritual sees her strolling down to this beachside landmark to have breakfast in her pyjamas with her boyfriend after a wild night.


Walking into The Wild Fig with a beautiful man, I just had to stop and take a moment to breathe in the smell of the sea and cast our eyes on the magnificent backdrop of the Indian Ocean. The restaurant itself is quite funky, laid-back and has a neighbour-hood feel.

Starving, we ordered the health-conscious Nudie Vegan with a side of poached eggs, a Funky Chicken Salad and two free trade, organic coffees. The Nudie Vegan was spectacular and delicious. We dove into the grilled, bright green asparagus spears, roast pumpkin, roma tomatoes, field mushrooms, baby spinach and seasoned red beans which were succulent and zingy. This generous platter was accompanied by a serve of pumpkin rye toast which added a welcome crunch and nuttiness to the experience. The chicken salad was simple and hit the spot. Spiced chicken, avocado, grilled white peaches, cherry tomatoes were presented on a tower of English spinach. The tartness of the peach contrasted beautifully with the spicy coating on the chicken breast fillet. We washed down our meals with a fantastic cappuccino - rich, creamy and the perfect accompaniment to a mouth-watering breakfast.


I love figs. The way they taste and the way they look. Not surprising is the fact that figs have long had the reputation as a sexual super food arousing desire. I don’t know about you but I believe that the libido-building power of figs also stems from their suggestive shape and colour. They were even the favorite food of Cleopatra – a well known pharaoh and self-confessed nympho.

Unfortunately, there was no sign of any figs on the menu, but I still believe that The Wild Fig is the perfect name for this great beachside café which lived up to its reputation of serving high quality organic food, seasoned with a sprinkling of naughty and.... if you are really feeling kinky, you can always go sample Wild Fig’s hot tongue curry night.

The Wild Fig also has a new sister for you to try out- The Naked Fig on Marine Parade in Swanbourne.

Passion Rating ★★★★★
Food: ★★★★☆
Service: ★★★☆☆
Ambiance: ★★★ ☆☆
Overall: ★★★☆ ½

Here's a really fresh and fabulous summer fig salad recipe my mum's friend Marilyn has come up with.. delicious and simple:


Toss together mixed greens, figs, prosciutto, croutons, brie or camembert cheese, poached chicken slices and roast pumpkin. Pour over a dressing of honey,white balsamic, oil,Dijon grainy mustard.

An Italian Love Affair

“If only but one day I do not meet you, There is no place where I can find delight; But if I see you, then I want to eat you, For one who starves must sate his appetite” –Michelangelo

My first Italian love affair was unforgettable. His name was Paolo and he was a deadly hunk of a man. Dark wavy hair, tanned skin, chocolate eyes with lashes they went on for miles and a killer colgate smile with fleshy, pouty lips. As soon as I met him I knew I was in trouble. I was only 16 at the time and on student exchange in Mantua, Italy. If you didn’t know it already, Mantua is the home of Romeo as in Shakespeare’s tale of star-crossed lovers Romeo and Juliet. I am happy to say that my love story was just as passionate but thankfully not as tragic.

There’s nothing quite like the backdrop of a medieval city to set the mood for love – love for Paolo, love for the city, the culture, the people and above all, for his mother Adriana’s food. Between Paolo’s amorous advances and his mother’s cooking I had all the signs of being in love - flushed cheeks, a racing heart beat and clammy hands while inside my body there were some definite chemical signs that cupid had fired his arrow. I realised years later that the dizzy feelings I had experienced around Paolo had more to do with the anticipation of devouring Adriana’s heart-thumping meatballs than going on his promised magic love ride.

Unlike Paolo, one Perth restaurant that is guaranteed to deliver on its promise is Perugino Restaurant (www.perugino.com.au) in West Perth. Speaking to chef Giuseppe Pagliaricci you just know that he is going to take you somewhere special – as he will tell you “I am driven by the passion to create and do something poetic with my cooking”. I haven’t been to Perugino for almost ten years so I was curious to find out whether it had been able to sustain its past glory.

To kick off the evening, my buddy and I inhaled our delectable amuse bouche – a roast veal and endive salad sprinkled with bright orange nasturtium leaves. We popped the cork on a bottle of Laurent Pierre champagne – the floating bubbles tickled my nose and throat and made me giddy. For entrée, we shared an orgasmic experience – homemade duck ravioli with a puréed pumpkin and burnt butter sauce. The ravioli were soft and looked like miniature pillows and were stuffed with a pungent gamey centre. The wild flavour of the duck was tempered by the delicate creaminess of the pumpkin velouté. For our mains we shared rack of lamb encrusted with seasoned garlic and parmesan breadcrumbs, served with caramelized pomegranate-coloured figs and grilled dhufish seared in orange butter.

Giuseppe’s passion for food has certainly paid off and I was reminded yet again why he has won so many Gold Plate Awards. The meal was simple, elegant and heaven-sent. The décor at Perugino’s is classically European and floatingly romantic. It has the feeling of sitting in a conservatory and as you look up from your table, you can see the stars through the glass roof.

Despite its enchanting sleekness, the restaurant exudes the same warmth as you would expect if you were to walk into an Italian gourmet kitchen, with its open fireplace and ochred-terracotta tiled floors. The menu prices also reflect this modesty, which is rather paradoxical given the very chic location. What makes this experience even more authentic is the silver service trained staff fresh-off-the-boat speaking to you in their sexy Italian mother tongue.

In a recent poll conducted by Bon Appetit Magazine , it was discovered that readers liked eating more than doing the deed. An overwhelming 75.5% of those polled would give up sex for their favorite food. I can’t say that I would be one of the majority, but dining at Perugino I can certainly understand the inclination. If you and your loved one are looking to be titillated, Perugino is a blow-your-socks-off experience. Salute!

Passion Rating ★★★★★
Food:★★★★★
Service:★★★★★
Ambiance:★★★★★
Overall:★★★★★